The D Word

The D Word - Also Known as Deployment

The time has come yet again…deployment.  That word invokes a number of emotions in me, all mixing together to make my stomach queasy.  Just writing this is making me feel uncomfortable because I know it’s right around the corner. I hate this part.

Our very first “Welcome Home”

We Need To Talk….

This will be Danny’s fourth deployment since we have been together.  They have truly become a normal part of life for us.  I have even figured out his “tell” when he has gotten orders; he always says “We need to talk about something and I don’t want you to get upset.”  He is super smooth, right?  I don’t even ask what it could be anymore, I just ask “When?”  That’s the most important piece of information in my little world at that exact moment.  I need to know how much time we have together before he gets on a plane.

I learned after his first deployment that I can give myself just a few minutes to embrace that panicky feeling and cry a little. Just a few minutes.  Then I start planning.  I believe that when we are faced with this situation, our mutual goal has to be making every moment count.  Our weekends are even more valuable than usual.  I work harder to leave all grading at school so that I am not bringing work home.  We leave the television off more so that we can hang out and play with Viv.  Our little family adventures to the aquarium or zoo hold just a little bit more importance because it is still all of us.  For this deployment, my phone has become overloaded with pictures of Danny and Viv together.

READ  DIY Vicks Vapor Shower Bombs

Deployments Suck.

The D Word - Also Known as Deployment
Having fun with the sharks at the aquarium.

Here’s the thing, deployments suck.  It’s as easy as that.  I have never met a single person that smiles at that wretched word and says “Oh yeah, we love them.  Yay deployments!”  However, I now know many people that simply shrug their shoulders and say “It happens and we make the best of it.”  I am incredibly grateful and proud that I now count myself among their numbers.  I know that a life of uncertainty is what I “signed up for” (I actually hate when people say that) so it is up to me to make the absolute best of these times.

This is the worst part, right before, and when, he leaves.  I know there will be that empty feeling.  I know that I will ugly cry under the covers in bed.  I know my breath will catch in my throat the first few times Vivienne yells “Daddy!” and runs through the house trying to find him.  I know all of this is inevitable, but I will not fight it or try to stop it.  I give myself those moments of sadness; just like giving myself those first few minutes when he gets the news.  Being strong does not mean not crying and pretending like you aren’t scared.  Being strong is embracing the situation and figuring out how to make it work. This sadness WILL fade, it will silently move to the back of my mind and find a little space that I am perfectly okay with.  I know that as an utter certainty.

Baby We Got This

The D Word - Also Known as Deployment
The most recent “Welcome Home.” These days are the absolute best.

Creating a routine is the best advice I could ever give to someone preparing for deployment.   Routine keeps us moving forward and gives us something to look forward to every day.  Going out with friends, scheduling play dates, asking anyone and everyone to come stay for a weekend (I redid the guest room, y’all!), these things make it go by faster as well as easier.  Plan things like your life depends on it, make lists, check little boxes.  Make sure that you are finding reasons to have a smile on your face.  It will be over before you know it and you will find yourself telling someone else “It happens and we make the best of it.”

24 thoughts on “The D Word

  1. Proud of you both , I’m sure you have inspired others going through the same by sharing your heart love you all

  2. Your blog is a lot more interesting than this in-service right now!! If you ever need someone to hang out with I’m totally here! We really should hang out more outside of work 🙂

  3. Many thanks to Danny for his service and to you for supporting his choice to serve. My father served for 20 years, though most of it was before I was born and we never had to worry about him being deployed abroad.

    I can’t even imagine what it must be like to cope with a little one while your spouse is away. Your family is making a very brave sacrifice for us all. <3

    1. Your kind words mean the world. Thank you for taking the time to read. I would also like to extend my Thanks to your father and your family for everything you all did for this country!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *