Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Dory’s sing-songy voice plays in my head daily at the moment. It doesn’t help that Vivienne is going through a fish phase and screams “Dory, DORY!” constantly, while wielding her mini mop like a samurai sword around the living room. That little fish is on to something; it’s something that so many of us need: to stay busy. At the moment, all I need to do is move, move, move.
It was a whirlwind departure this time around. We knew it was coming, but we expected more notice. Things are not exactly fair in this lifestyle (I know, I know…military life). It just so happened that Danny left on the exact same day that school started back up for second semester, and we had less than twenty-four hours heads up. My tornado of back to school nerves collided with the hurricane of “please don’t leave again” feelings. It is so hard not be angry or bitter sometimes.
I have not stopped moving. Danny left ridiculously early. I ugly cried under the covers in bed (I told you I would), and then I dragged my sorry self up and got ready for work forty-five minutes later. It was the best decision I could have made. The amount of coffee I had that morning could have fueled the entire staff for the day. My new students probably thought that I was off my rocker, but we had some good laughs and got to know each other despite my caffeine jitters. I did not have time to think that “the countdown” was not even a full day in. Add in chasing Viv around the house to keep her distracted from a certain missing someone and before I knew it, bed time. One day down.
IF YOU’VE GOT TIME TO LEAN YOU’VE GOT TIME TO CLEAN!
This is what I shoot for every day right now. There has to be something to do. Bonus points if it is something that is actually beneficial in some way (today I shampooed all of the carpets and washed all of the curtains after I went in to school on my day off). Remember that little thing I said about making lists and checking boxes? My lists have grown exponentially over the last week. When I am at home, I walk through the house finding anything and everything that needs a good cleaning, organizing, burning (so long toaster!….It was an accident). I love it. I get lost in focusing on every little detail of whatever it is I am working on. Every night, after she goes to sleep, I get to check another box, and another day goes by.
This is the time to do everything that has been pushed off. Haircut, dentist, tire rotation, inviting people over for dinner, go to the aquarium yet again, put it in the planner! Always wanted to try writing a blog? Go on with your bad self! Yoga has been peacefully calling your name? This is the perfect time for it. Although I will say that the studio schedules around here are impossible. Therefore, my yoga mat gets rolled out between My Little Baker’s Kitchen and a little lion piano in the living room. No matter what, it is getting done. Would you look at that…the first week is over.
MIND THE GAP
It is not about overwhelming oneself with things to do. It is about filling in the “us time” gaps. I have a hell of a lot of gaps to fill. So I need to meal plan in order to have more time to watch her scream the lyrics to “Let It Go” every night (dead serious, every night). I need to find a reason to go to Target every other day. Ok, that one is a given whether or not Danny is gone, I freakin’ love Target. I need to get ahead as much as possible at school so that I don’t have to stress about it. I need to stay busy so that I can stay calm. All of this is not adding stress, it is taking it away. I am staying busy in order to relax and be able to smile and actually mean it. It works. Dory knows what she is talking about.